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Post by NFSMWLamborghini on Nov 24, 2009 1:09:31 GMT
their IS something wrong with him
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Post by RGX (Xbox (360)/Wii/PC) on Nov 24, 2009 3:03:54 GMT
Or this.
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Post by Jussi on Nov 24, 2009 3:26:39 GMT
lol Jussi
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Post by TheGreenMonster (PC) on Nov 24, 2009 7:00:49 GMT
Grandma and Grandpa were driving from Washington to Florida to attend their granddaughters graduation from medical school.
Halfway through their trip, they stopped to visit one of their sons in Kansas for a night. Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in the medicine cabinet. He asked his son about using one of the pills.
The son said, 'I don't think you should take one Dad, they're very strong and very expensive.'
How much?' asked Grandpa.
'Around $10.00 a pill,' answered the son.
I don't care,' said Grandpa, 'I'd still like to try one, we'll be leaving early in the morning, so I'll put the money under the pillow.'
Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow. He immediately called Grandpa on his cell phone and said, 'I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00.
'I know,' said Grandpa. 'The hundred is from Grandma.
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Post by aarog5606 on Nov 24, 2009 20:10:10 GMT
Now THATS funny
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Post by NFSMWLamborghini on Nov 25, 2009 3:06:09 GMT
Funny but I don't get it that much
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Post by TheGreenMonster (PC) on Nov 25, 2009 3:39:14 GMT
First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary Medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body." The professor then pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it, and stuck it in his mouth.He continued, "Now, each of you, go ahead and do the same thing."
The freaked out students hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.
When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.
Life's tough, but it's even tougher if you're stupid." So, Pay Attention!
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stig
ISRC Member
Turbo lag is a courtesy head start...
Posts: 278
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Post by stig on Nov 25, 2009 3:47:24 GMT
LOL.
Approve of the last two.
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Post by aarog5606 on Nov 25, 2009 4:03:17 GMT
Great point!! but that is nasty!
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Post by NFSMWLamborghini on Nov 25, 2009 18:11:33 GMT
bleh ew nasty
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esinovci (PC)
ISRC Rookie
Software is like sex,it's better when its free. :D
Posts: 73
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Post by esinovci (PC) on Nov 25, 2009 20:14:13 GMT
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A. He wanted cold hard cash!
Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A. "Is that you mommy?"
Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.
Q. How do crazy people go through the forest?
A. They take the psycho path.
Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?
A. Cell phones.
Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk.
Q. Where do polar bears vote?
A. The North Poll
Q. What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane?
A. ME!!!
Q. Where do snowmen keep their money?
A. In snow banks.
Q. What's brown and sticky?
A. A stick.
Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
Q. What dog keeps the best time?
A. A watch dog.
Q. Why did the tomato turn red?
A. It saw the salad dressing!
Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
A. It let out a little wine!
Q. How do you make a tissue dance?
A. Put a little boogey in it!
Q. Where do bees go to the bathroom?
A. At the BP station!
Q. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
A. Odor in the court.
Q. What did the water say to the boat?
A. Nothing, it just waved.
Q. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
A. Dam!
Q. Why don't skeletons fight each other?
A. They don't have the guts.
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Post by RGX (Xbox (360)/Wii/PC) on Nov 25, 2009 21:25:41 GMT
First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In Veterinary Medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body." The professor then pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it, and stuck it in his mouth.He continued, "Now, each of you, go ahead and do the same thing." The freaked out students hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it. When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and said, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough, but it's even tougher if you're stupid." So, Pay Attention! Nice one!
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Post by makakycs (PC) on Nov 26, 2009 11:44:35 GMT
How do you recycle toilet paper? You hang it on the clothesline and beat the crap out of it
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esinovci (PC)
ISRC Rookie
Software is like sex,it's better when its free. :D
Posts: 73
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Post by esinovci (PC) on Nov 26, 2009 14:08:27 GMT
Sum Ting Wong LOL! hahaha
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Post by TheGreenMonster (PC) on Nov 26, 2009 16:00:00 GMT
Subject: hunting safari
A wealthy old Gentleman decides to go on a hunting safari in Africa, taking his faithful, elderly Jack Russell named Killer, along for the company.
One day the old Jack Russell starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old Jack Russell thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!"
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old Jack Russell exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!", says the leopard, "That was close! That old Jack Russell nearly had me!"Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard.
So off he goes, but the old Jack Russell sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine! Now, the old Jack Russell sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?", but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Jack Russell
says... "Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard! Moral of this story.... Don't mess with the old dogs...age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! Bullcrap and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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