|
Post by NFSMWLamborghini on Nov 26, 2009 19:07:59 GMT
Smart dog
|
|
|
Post by TheGreenMonster (PC) on Nov 27, 2009 22:38:07 GMT
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President.
The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:
Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, DC., and those azz holes deducted $95.00 in taxes.
|
|
|
Post by makakycs (PC) on Nov 28, 2009 2:18:56 GMT
so true The sexual position formally known as 69 is now called 96. Financial experts say due to the recent credit crunch the cost of eating out has gone up .
|
|
|
Post by TheGreenMonster (PC) on Nov 30, 2009 8:34:59 GMT
Eonverye taht can raed this rsaie yuor hnad.
To my 'selected' strange-minded friends: If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends and the person that sent it to you with 'yes' in the subject line. Only great minds can read this. This is weird, but interesting!
fi yuo cna raed this, yuo have a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed this? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed this forwrad it
|
|
|
Post by GTRB(GameCube/PC) on Nov 30, 2009 23:35:59 GMT
Seen it beofre, one of my fvratioe jeoks eevr. lol
|
|
|
Post by TheGreenMonster (PC) on Dec 1, 2009 3:10:27 GMT
The little Indain boy asked his grand father how he comes up with the name of the new children in the tribe. The grand father replies, When your sister was born I saw a souring eagle fly by, so I called your sister "souring eagle" When your brother was born I saw a bear cub so I called your brother "bear cub, The grand father then asked the boy why do you asked two dogs fu*king
|
|
|
Post by NFSMWLamborghini on Dec 1, 2009 3:19:11 GMT
Eonverye taht can raed this rsaie yuor hnad. To my 'selected' strange-minded friends: If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends and the person that sent it to you with 'yes' in the subject line. Only great minds can read this. This is weird, but interesting! fi yuo cna raed this, yuo have a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed this? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed this forwrad it Wow that's amazing I read it
|
|
|
Post by TheGreenMonster (PC) on Dec 1, 2009 3:44:56 GMT
A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates. A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat."
He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly it would lift itself."
|
|
|
Post by GTRB(GameCube/PC) on Dec 2, 2009 20:25:55 GMT
OOOOOOOOH! She just got told.
|
|
Frederik (PC)
ISRC Senior Member
†ISRC Dedicated Since 2006
Posts: 380
|
Post by Frederik (PC) on Dec 2, 2009 22:14:34 GMT
OOOOOOOOH! She just got told. Totally agreed.
|
|
|
Post by NFSMWLamborghini on Dec 3, 2009 0:23:58 GMT
the pic was unnecessary but nice
|
|
|
Post by CmdrTomalak (PC/PS3/PS4) on Dec 3, 2009 15:51:52 GMT
the pic was unnecessary but nice Nice? The pic or the joke?
|
|
|
Post by TheGreenMonster (PC) on Dec 3, 2009 18:51:03 GMT
Its getting close to Xmas so we need some good Xmas jokes. The picture speaks for itself
|
|
Frederik (PC)
ISRC Senior Member
†ISRC Dedicated Since 2006
Posts: 380
|
Post by Frederik (PC) on Dec 3, 2009 20:31:11 GMT
TheGreenMonster - That is just too serious.
|
|
|
Post by TheGreenMonster (PC) on Dec 4, 2009 1:22:27 GMT
Subject: WIFE FROM HELL A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.' The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. ' Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.' As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?' The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.' As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?' The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine..' The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.' The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.' And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??' The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?' (I love this part) 'Only when he's been drinking..!!!
|
|